Sunday, 15 January 2012

The Finer Points of Fay Time

I know I said that maybe a boy would be easier on my nerves, but I'm beginning to doubt if I have the skills necessary to satisfy the unique needs of a little boy.  I was watching two of my nephews the other day when this cold, hard reality hit me.
Nolan had set up an elaborate mise-en-scène including every farm animal figurine he owns.  Proud of his work, he asked me if I wanted to play.  So we settled down to play farm.  I was galloping my horse around the farm yard when Nolan looked at me as if I had just picked my nose and asked him to eat it.
Knowing I was being judged somehow, I put the horse down and started to add some trees to the farm scene.  This time the look on his face was absolutely incredulous.
"What?" I asked, mystified.
"Don't you know how to fay?" asked Nolan, a look of horror on his face.  "Dat's a falm tree!"
It turns out my first mistake was that I wasn't actually galloping a horse around the farm yard, but a gazelle.  The palm tree just pushed it over the edge.
Okay, so the gazelle doesn't look much like a horse, but it definitely looks like a farm animal of some kind!
Boy or girl, I'm certain it will take only a matter of minutes before I disappoint our child, but I feel I'm doomed to more tableaus like the one described above.  You see, my mom had a premonition.  This premonition came at least a couple of years ago, well before any plans for baby Q were in the works.
My mom phoned me and grimly reported that her premonition foretold of boys plural in my future.  Having had only two previous premonitions in her life that were right in big ways, I have put most of my trust in this prophesy.  I guess I'll just have to log some tough hours with Nolan learning the ropes of the animal kingdom so that my future sons aren't too embarrassed by their fay-illiterate mother.
On the bright side, ten followers today!  I'm very excited, but Jimmy just burst my bubble saying, "Your mom and I don't count!"  I have a couple of bones to pick with this statement:
Number 1: My mom is NOT a follower (yet).  She couldn't figure out how to become one.  But she is a reader!
Number 2: He didn't specify any stipulations on who could be included in the ten followers before he made his statement, so it's not really fair to be making last minute caveats now!
Number 3: Only 3 of the 10 followers are people I know in real life (or IRL for you blog and tech savvy people), which isn't bad.
Still, after that comment I've now set the bar to 13 followers to make this seem legit to James.  
See you tomorrow.  I'm thinking about putting up one of my recent recipe successes.  Sorry, I don't know how you'll be able to sleep tonight after a teaser like that!
For now, I'm making pancakes while Jimmy deals with the after effects of winter's (blissfully) late arrival.


  1. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, if I don't count then I don't babysit (an empty threat, I know). IRL (first use), I will be at your house constantly, so much so, in fact, that you will be hard pressed to count just how many times I have shown up.

    1. He's definitely looking forward to your presence. IRL (second use) he'll be calling you to come over if it keeps me sane.