Wednesday, 22 February 2012

When I am Queen . . .

With William away for six weeks, Catherine is keeping busy with charity events and looking fabulous.  Just yesterday she was out working with children on their art projects in this lovely number:
With her husband away, I'm sure the Duchess also has some time to think about what things will be like when she is Queen.  I can imagine her being a thoughtful and judicious ruler.  Not so when I become Queen of Alberta.  My subjects will need boundaries, and I am only too happy to provide them.  My first decree will deal with the kitchen.  Specifically, the sink.  The stopper must be properly placed to catch the little bits of food from your dinner.  Those who insist on placing the stopper in the sink upside down will be deported to Saskatchewan.
Correct placement.  Food caught and cradled to be safely
transported to the garbage.
Incorrect placement.  Food bits caught, for the time being,
 only to be flung everywhere when stopper is removed.

When I am Queen, Alberta will become a province where form and function reign supreme.  This will of course mean that my husband will be packing his bags, but I am willing to make that sacrifice for my people.  That is all.

Actually, one more thing.  I'm not Queen yet, but in my quest to climb the social ladder I have become a contributor for Urban Infant Magazine's new website!  You can read my bio here.  I'll let you know when my first article is posted.  If you have any ideas on what I could write about, I'd love to hear it.  See, I too can be thoughtful and judicious.
Shelby

2 comments:

  1. If ever I had any doubts you were my daughter (and I have, because you eat soooo many vegetables) reading your concise, intelligent and judicious ruling on proper sink stopper placement has calmed any fears. Long live the queen.

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  2. "Seriously, why does the sink stopper have to be put in that way?"
    "In case the Queen drops by for tea, of course!"

    Ok Urban Infant mama, it's about style, right? I would want to know about prenatal pampering (yoga, massage, stretch mark cream). And stylish baby paraphenalia and where to source it out. Please, no teddy bears on diaper bags! And (it's a little early but I know you'll pull it off) how to still feel stylish AFTER the baby when you're sleep-deprived, wearing a nursing bra & carrying 25 extra pounds (10 on your body, 10 of the baby, 5 in your stylish diaper bag). Oh, after reading your plug for Ice on Whyte, you should do an occasional "get out before/with the baby" and tell people what's going on in town!

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