Gems from James

Lucky you on a Monday!  I've got several gems polished up just for you!

While reflecting wistfully on his wife's always inconsistent disposition since Gracie's arrival on the scene:
"You were such a happy pregnant girl."

While shopping online:
"Look at this hat!  I don't know how much it will cost by the time I pay the shipping fee, but it doesn't matter because it's the hat I've always wanted!"

Declining my pro-offered scarf while holding our naked baby at the outdoor farmers' market on a fall day mid-diaper blowout change:
"She's going to have to learn to deal with the cold sometime."

Said the stranger passing by:
"She's shivering!"

Mentally preparing herself for the cold.

The Griswolds are preparing for another vacation - I'm sure there will be some tasty morsels for you when we return!
Shelby

Griswold's Family Vacation

We made it out alive.  We've survived our first family vacation with bébé in tow.  We spent one week in beautiful Victoria, just the three of us, then joined up with seven other Griswolds in Kelowna.  What makes us the Griswolds, you ask?  Some highlights, just for you:

• Arriving in downtown Victoria dressed for winter on a record breaking 30 degree day (record breaking!  It was freezing just two days before) and having to buy a completely new outfit before I melted in front of the historic Fairmont Hotel.
• Waiting in line an hour and a half for Victoria's best fish and chips, then having to run to the car twice (once to pay for more parking minutes, a second time because we forgot to take the keys to put the newly purchased parking pass in the car) just as the (well worth it) fish and chips were served.  Ok, Jimmy tells me they were worth it.  I don't eat fish.  Only chips.  Which makes the wait even more mind boggling.
• Jimmy nearly running over my foot as I tried to retrieve our first born from the back seat of the rental car.
• Finding, upon our arrival in Kelowna, that the airline handled our play pen so delicately, they managed to break every spring loaded joint in its frame.  Jimmy recommended we just lay our baby on THE FLOOR OF A RENTAL HOME to sleep.  Did I mention Gracie just learned how to roll over?  So I came up with a much classier solution: buy a playpen and return it at the end of the week.  What?  We decided the colour palette didn't work for us.
• There were many more incidents that qualify us for the Griswold standard, but I'll spare you and give you just one final escapade.  We arrived at the airport for the flight home, and as I picked Gracie up to go through security, I felt moisture.  I realized instantly that I had forgotten to pack any extra clothing in our carry on and spend the next several minutes praying it was just a pee leak. Withe bated breath I opened the diaper to see it was definitely not a pee leak, but Gracie more than answered my prayers by providing a pee fountain seconds after I opened the diaper.

Nothing says Griswold like a naked baby in an airport.  Nothing.

There were also many un-Griswold like moments.  The beautiful Butchart Gardens were absolutely incredible.  Knowing it's taking them 100 years to create their garden makes me feel better about the state of my own.

There was naked rolling over.

The naked roll over stage 1.

The naked roll over stage 2.

And because I know you can't tell on your own: The naked roll over stage 3.

And swimming.  Or swim-sleeping?  Either way, very safe, I'm sure.

Birthday parties.

And of course, spaghetti.  Spaghetti that had to be inspected, strand by strand, before being eaten.

I'll be back soon with the promised and much anticipated birth story.  The story that I swore I wouldn't want to talk about with everyone.  But now?  You couldn't shut me up if you tried.  Actually, you could, if you had ice cream, or chocolate, or cake.  Or chocolate ice cream cake.  Anyway, I've become the annoying woman who won't stop talking about pregnancy, birth, and her child.  I guess that's ok.  It's kind of a big deal.  At least to me!

To tide you over until my return, a Gem from James, vacation edition.  We were walking in downtown Victoria when I made mention of the idea of a push present, and my gratitude that my husband was blissfully unaware of this recently created tradition.  James' response after I explained the significance of a push present? 
"I'm glad I had never heard of a push present!  Sounds like a giant scam!  Where's my "I got one past the goalie present?!"
Indeed.

Until next time, much love from the Griswolds!

Spoon (Wo)Man

The count for today, so far:

Number of pees taken mid diaper change: 2

Number of sneezes while mid diaper change which caused pooh to shoot across the room: 1

Sorry about the stains on your fabulous design, mom.  

Need a laugh, or just a small smile?  Me too, so let's watch this together.  It's better if you do a little dance too. 

I'm taking up a new hobby.  Studies show parents who maintain their hobbies are happier than those who don't.

Shelby

The Big One

Today is my dad's birthday.  And it's a big one.  I'm sure he'll be ecstatic that I'm mentioning not only him, but making vague reference to his age, so let me bolster his ego with this:
Last week my sister and I were getting pedicures for her birthday, and my dad stopped by to bring birthday smoothies.  After he left and we were discussing our appreciation for our dad, the esthetician said to me, "Your dad?!  I thought he was your husband!".  And that is not the first time such a mistake has been made. Yikes!

Unfortunately it doesn't look like he will be sharing his birthday with the newest grandchild to hit the block.  Sigh.   Oh well.  Happy birthday dad!
Speaking of husbands (it was two paragraphs back - try to keep up!) my real husband has been very sweet as my grouchiness clouds up our house waiting for peanut to arrive.  But there were a couple gems from a few weeks back I thought worthy of sharing.
In regards to his inability to attend our prenatal class during which we'd learn infant CPR:
"It's just two fingers, right?"
When I asked if I should contact the trainer who works on the bench if I go into labour while he's playing out of town:
"Yeah, because that would help me play real well!" 
We have since worked out a plan that satisfies all parties involved - worry not!  And know that he always says things with the intent to tease.  We're both sweating a little bit over the fact that the bébé may decide to arrive on the scene while he's out of town.  It would make a good story, and blog post I guess . . .
Shelby

I Pity the Fool

I mentioned yesterday that I tricked Jimmy on April 1st.  It wasn't my idea, but my sister-in-law's.  I had doubts, to be sure.  Let's face it, I'm not an Oscar nominated actress.  I've never even gotten a nod from the Razzies.  And I thought it was a little mean.  So what made me change my mind?  It was on April Fools' Eve when someone was looking for me and James said, "She's just over there.  The one with the huge belly.  You can't miss her!"  And with those words, his fate was sealed.
So, early on April Fools' morn, when Jimmy climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, I sprang into action.  I went into the other bathroom and with some strategic water splashing, achieved the look of a woman whose water had broken.  I called Jimmy once.  "What?" came the call back.  I called once again, a little more urgently, and started making my way towards him.  "What's wrong?" was the call back this time.  We met half way, and I told him I thought my water had broken.  
"How do you know?" was my husband's first question, a stunned look on his face.  I had to call on all of my dramatic skill to stay in the moment and not laugh.  
"Well, I don't think I peed my pants!" I replied.
I have to commend James.  He stayed calm and did his best to be supportive.  He told me everything would be okay, and that I was okay.  I think he needed a moment to collect himself, as the next thing he asked was: "What does your book say?" 
I know he knows what my book says.  He has a good head for numbers, and he can recite all the stats we learned in our prenatal class.  He could tell you that as long as the contractions aren't coming close enough together that birth is imminent or you're in unmanageable pain, you have about 12 hours after your water breaks before infection becomes a concern and you need to get to the hospital.  But I had caught him off guard.  You see, he may have been out the night before, and he may have enjoyed a beverage with friends.  So, I turned to go get my book to answer his question, even though I knew the answer, while he tried to get his bearings.  Upon looking in the book, I turned to him and said, "The book says Happy April Fools' Day!"
He looked relieved, then slightly annoyed and said, "That was mean!"  When I hugged him, I noticed he was slightly sweaty.  He forgave me, of course, but said it was an unfair trick because he wasn't totally clear headed so early in the morning.
The fact that we woke up to a beautiful spring snowstorm didn't help his nerves either!  He told me later he had visions of us stuck in traffic, trying to endure contractions in the car while traffic stood at a standstill.  

All in all though, I think the trick was a good thing.  I feel totally reassured that Jimmy will be a calm and supportive coach when the birth day does arrive, and Jimmy has realized it really could happen at any moment, and that it will be a lot easier without any residual beverages in his system.  Will that hold him back?  Only time will tell!

Awkward self portrait #1

And #2

Only 3.5 more weeks to go!

Shelby

Ellen . . . Who Else?

Well, even though I sent this picture into Ellen, she hasn't shown it yet.  And now I know why.  The picture I sent can't compete with this one.

Jimmy has been surprisingly quiet lately.  I think he's lying low after my awesome April Fool's trick.  I don't possess the sharp wit nor love for teasing others that Jimmy does, so when I get him, it is a momentous occasion.  I can't believe I haven't gloated about it publicly via internet yet.  Perhaps tomorrow.
And sadly, there has been no long lasting solution found for his hair dilemma.  The people haven't spoken loudly enough.  Which makes me wonder if the people are really as interested in his hair, clothing, and witty quips as he thinks they are.  A quick visit to my blog stats page confirms that the post about my hair racked up 96 page views, while the post about his bad hair had a paltry 36 views.  Hmmm.  I guess the people have spoken.  To be fair, another perusal of my blog's stats revealed that people have found my blog through Google searches such as "different ways to wear my hair for school" and "short pixie cut" which could explain the extra page views my hair has garnered.  Although, there have been a couple of searches for "3 2 1 buzzcut" and inexplicably "buzzcut stripes" that have led a reader or two to Jimmy's hair post.  
Anyways, I should really stop procrastinating and start dinner.  I hope leftover and re-heated apple tarts from Nana's Easter dinner are okay with Jimmy.  That's all I have the energy for.
Until next time,
Shelby

Women

My friend Paul, who is not a woman, shared this video, and as he said, it's funny, but not funny.  

An easy trap for women to fall in to - being sure to take care of others and leaving themselves last.  I think we all know someone (man or woman) who doesn't look like the type of person to have a heart attack. Someone who is young and at a healthy weight, but unimaginably, does have a heart attack.  If we know the signs and catch an attack early, hopefully tragedy can be prevented.
Paul maintains not one but two blogs!  One related to all things lacrosse and the program he and Jimmy run here in Edmonton and the other about his family and their experience with two sons far, far away at prep school.  I of course, read both blogs religiously.  Ok, so I don't always read the lacrosse blog, and I may skip over the posts on the family blog that deal strictly with sports, but I love the videos he makes of his boys (and not because Jimmy makes occasional appearances either), especially the soundtracks he picks to go with them.  Paul was Jimmy's coach once upon a time, and he taught Jimmy the same thing he teaches his own sons now - the value of hard work.  
I can't wait to annoy and perhaps embarrass our kids when I post videos and pictures of them online.  Ah the joys and privileges of parenthood! 
Shelby

Restoration

The rustling sound in the trees you just heard?  That was caused by my deep inhalations as my head cold has finally fled the coop.  Hooray for breathing through two nostrils!  Who cares if standing upright for the 12.5 minutes it takes me to apply my makeup is enough cardio activity to leave me huffing and puffing!  At least I can huff and puff through my nose!  No one likes a mouth breather.  No one.
Further proof of my reestablishment as a productive member of society?  I cleaned my whole house!  Sure, it took quadruple the time it normally does, but still.  And while Jimmy has noted that I am starting to walk with a distinct waddle, I'm not quite to the point where I can no longer bend low enough to scrub out the tub.  When that time comes (within minutes, no doubt) I'll be making use of a (brilliant) tip passed on to me by my friend and mother of two, Bertha (name changed to protect identity). Once you've gotten too big to bend it like Beckham (or even like Betty White), perch your delicate self on the edge of the tub and use your swollen feet to push the sponge around the tub.  Good.  Enough.
Not only can I breathe and clean my house, I've taken pictures of Jimmy's outfit two days in a row!  Look out world, here I come!
Without further ado, Jimmy's outfits:

Wednesday: A full view, and yes, the pants are pin striped. 

Wednesday: Close up of the camel coloured argyll.

Thursday: Dapper in dress shirt and pants.

Jimmy has a special interest in shoes, and I agree with him because this is where many men's outfits fall apart.  I've said it before, as long as you've got a decent fit and flat front pants, you're pretty safe.  But the shoes, oh the shoes!  So many men's shoes fall in to the dreaded sausage category.  How can you be sure your shoes aren't sausages?  There are two criteria.  The first and most important is a cylindrical shape.  This is exacerbated by the second criteria, which is the illusion of a longer than necessary shoe. The lengthy appearance of the shoe without the presence of the cylindrical shape is fine.  But put the two together, and you're in trouble.  Photographic evidence below:

The dreaded sausage.

And for comparison, a close up of Jimmy's shoes:

A simple Steve Madden slip on.

A Diesel boat shoe boot.

The details of men's fashion can be exhilarating, no doubt about it.  Speaking of details, if you have any suggestions for Jimmy's hair, I do believe he is in that frightful in between stage and is looking for suggestions.  Hmmm, another idea for a future post - the evolution of Jimmy's hair.  You've seen my evolution and given your votes, now I think it's Jimmy's turn.  I've posted the long haired pics of his youth, but there have been many mutations over the years.  Off to the archives I trot to find you some photos!

Till next time,

Shelby

In Pictures

I have married a man who knows not what an old fashioned pram looks like.  The authors of 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" left that one out.  Had I only known . . .  

Why did this topic come up, you ask?  I've been thinking about having some family pictures taken after bébé arrives, something casual, maybe the three of us walking around downtown, and I thought an old fashioned pram would be the perfect prop for such a shoot.  But where to get one?  It's a good thing research is my favourite pass time.  I'll let you know what I find.  
Leaping on to a completely different train of thought, you might have guessed that I like watching The Ellen Show.  I also follow Ellen on Twitter.  For Classic Joke Monday, Ellen will re-tweet your joke if she thinks it's funny enough.  Last week I tweeted this one to her: What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?  Bi-son.  It didn't get a re-tweet.  Next Monday I'm gonna try this one: What did the French chicken say when it stubbed its toe?  Oeuf.  Here in Canada, this one should get laughs because we are bilingual, but I'm worried an American audience might not get it.  It's still pretty funny though.
Just in case my jokes don't cause Ellen to recognize my sense of humour, I'm hoping this picture might.

I sent it in for her "What's Wrong with These Photos?" segment.  I wonder what kind of joke she would make about it if she chooses to show it?  I don't know how she couldn't choose it.  It's pretty funny.
Follow me now to another unrelated topic: Jimmy's new fashion feature here on Chez Quinlan.  Generally speaking, I'm not very sharp in the morning, so as he was walking out to the garage this morning, I said, "Have a good day. You look really nice," remembering only as the words left my mouth that I should have had my camera at the ready!  Thankfully, I didn't miss much yesterday as Mondays tend to be a laid back day for him as he's usually tired after traveling on the weekend.  If I could I would capture his outfit from today upon his return home this evening, but by that time he'll have changed into his workout clothes, which are not in the least bit fashionable.  So maybe tomorrow I'll remember to get the job done in the am.  
And the last unrelated thought for the day: remember the fashion shoot I promised last week?  Well it happened, and it was the longest yet.  I'm still editing the photos. Unfortunately, my art director doesn't have the steadiest hand, and she was working with new equipment (namely my iPhone) which isn't very forgiving.  Here's a sneak peek.  More to come later this week, certainment!

Shelby

Broderick?

Not much happening today chez Quinlan.  I've got a quiet morning planned involving tea, an attempt to start a knitting project on the knitting loom my mother in law gave me at least three years ago, and a bath to soak my sore muscles from yesterday's yoga.  
Remember those lunch time laughs I mentioned yesterday?  Well, they were partly due to a very funny story involving a petting zoo, and partly due to this video.  Did you know they pre-release Super Bowl commercials now?  What's the fun in that?  This one is pretty good though, and based on a movie I love. 

You can't tell me you didn't laugh when you saw the giant panda in the passenger seat!
Hope you enjoyed that little tidbit.  I've got to get back to my knitting loom.  You can bet I'll update you on my progress with that project.  Or should I say lack of progress . . . 
Ta,
Shelby