Gems from James: Christmas Past Edition

I know it's March and I shouldn't really be thinking about Christmas, but I figured we could all use a little Christmas cheer to hold us over till the next big holiday.  I'm talking about St. Patrick's Day of course.  What?  I'm very Irish - haven't you seen my last name?!
So anyways, you all know James produces gems for me to mine like gangbusters all year round, but what you didn't know was that he really shines them up in time for Christmas.  It all started way back in his university days with his job at a very classy wine store (which just moved to a beautiful new location, btw).  Most people agree that enjoying a festive beverage at Christmas time is right up there with building gingerbread houses, and so Christmas Eve is always a very busy day at the store.  The generous owner of the store would reward his hard working staff with a well deserved sip here and there throughout the day, opening bottles he had been saving up all year just for the occasion.  Needless to say, when the working day ended at four o'clock Jimmy required a chauffeur to get him to Christmas dinner where the festivities would continue.  After we were married it became a new tradition that Jimmy and I would meander back to my parents' house at the end of the night on Christmas Eve so that Santa might fill our stockings there.  
And thus Gems from James Christmas Edition was born.  Because he is such a generous soul, at Christmas time Jimmy shares his verbal nuggets with my whole family and not just me.  These are the type of gems that have mileage for years, and are often brought up at Sunday dinners.  Now that he no longer works at the wine store sipping vintage reds all day long, he has to work a little harder and faster to get himself into the festive mood, but he never, ever fails.
The year after we were married was the year Jimmy whisper-shouted to my parents and siblings what my Christmas gift (that I had yet to open) would be while I was sitting next to him, repeating his news every few minutes as he promptly forgot what he had just said.
A couple of years ago, Jimmy again suffered short term memory loss, saying to my sister:
"Do you like coconut flavoured lip gloss?  Because Shel got this coconut flavoured lip gloss from my aunt, and she doesn't like coconut.  You should have that coconut flavoured lip gloss."
And again, moments later:
"Do you like coconut flavoured lip gloss?  Because Shel got this coconut flavoured lip gloss from my aunt, and she doesn't like coconut.  You should have that coconut flavoured lip gloss."
But Christmas 2011 definitely takes the cake.  We pulled up to my parents' house, car loaded with gifts and food for the coming celebrations, and Jimmy decided at that exact moment he must immediately relieve himself . . . in the shrubs.  My very responsible brother-in-law chose this exact moment to exit the house to help his pregnant sister-in-law and her husband unload the car, which he did, laughing the whole time.  I don't believe Jimmy actually unloaded much from the car.  But he did make it into the house to have just one more celebratory Grey Goose and juice with his sibs-in-law.  Short term memory loss caused him to ask my sister several time where she had been that evening and otherwise entertain us, until suddenly, there was a pause in the conversation.  Jimmy leaned back in his chair and unleashed the best Christmas Edition gem yet:
"Man . . . a bird could fly right in to my face right now, and I wouldn't even care!"
We were stunned into silence.  Who knows what led him on this train of thought. The Grey Goose?  The thought of Christmas turkey?  We're not sure.  But we laughed at the absurdity of it.  
Jimmy didn't last much longer.  He suddenly became pale and announced he wouldn't be finishing his one last drink.  He made his way up to bed as I bid goodnight to the sibs, then followed a few minutes later.  I wasn't able to make it very far however, as I stumbled over a giant husband shaped lump lying at the top of the dark stairs.  I roused my no longer festive husband, and guided him to bed, where he rolled over and said:
"I really shouldn't have eaten those gummies.  They're what did me in!" And promptly fell into a peaceful slumber, sugar plum fairies spinning above his snoring head.  
And hey, guess what else?  I've been published on someone's site other than my own!  You can check out my first article here.
Can't you hardly wait for Christmas 2012?!  I told you some Christmas cheer was what we needed!
Update:  Jimmy just walked in the door and asked what I was doing.  I told him I was writing a blog post all about him.  His reply?
"It's about time you gave the people what they want!"  I need never worry about lacking material while he's around.
Shelby

Vogue

My mom insisted on playing Madonna's "Vogue" for the duration of this shoot to help get the creative juices flowing.  Just kidding!  But maybe we should try that next time . . . 
Serving up another healthy portion of everyone's favourite fashion subset: maternity wear!  Enjoy.

 

Sweater dress: My mom's closet  Bag: It's Italian  Boots: Tahari Story: Slipping my orthotic insoles into my boots before heading out the door for a night on the town.  True, I'll last only 45 minutes before my feet start to swell in those fabulous boots, but at least it will be 45 minutes of looking good. 

  Top: My mom's closet  Jeans: Thyme Maternity  Boots: Jessica Simpson (who else could make a fashion forward and functional high heeled hiking shoe?) Story: Editing a blog post before going out for a hike.  Didn't you see the boots?

Top: My sister's closet  Jeans: Thyme Maternity  Boots: I'm sure you could tell they're Italian

Story: Strutting my stuff before heading out to line dance at the local country bar.  Tassels are the hottest new trend in maternity.  Who cares if you're not looking your slimmest?  Draw some more attention to yourself.  Don't you want to up the number of strangers touching your stomach?

Top: Motherhood Maternity  Jeans: Gap Maternity  Boots: Italian 

Story:  I don't know, okay?  We were really clutching at straws here.  That's not even a real dog!!  In the second shot, I'm Middleton-ing.  It's a lesser known version of Tebowing or Owling. 

Until next time,

Shelby

Look What I Found!

Isn't this sweet?

What made it even sweeter was the $1.94 price tag and the fact that it was the last one on the Joe Fresh clearance rack.  I'm starting to shop more for little bits and pieces for the peanut, and am in a state of utter shock and disbelief at the very limited number of gender neutral items available.  Does everyone find out the gender of the tenant in their womb nowadays, thereby eliminating the high demand for sleepers in cream and yellow?  It sure seems like it.  My mother (if you'll recall she's art director and fashion editor here at Chez Quinlan) is incredibly frustrated.  

The other day she was thwarted in her efforts to find a suitable homecoming outfit for bébé Q and literally threw her hands up in exasperation.  She has resigned herself to rushing out of the hospital minutes after the announcement of Q's gender (she says newborns aren't much to look at so soon after their birth anyway) to return with a fashion forward and gender appropriate outfit just in time for the little one to have pinked up.  

In other, totally unrelated news, Jimmy and I enjoyed a lovely weekend as he had time off from his other job.  We went to a newish restaurant called Soda Jerks. Jimmy had a giant, build your own burger which included root beer barbecue sauce, chipotle aioli, and roasted red peppers.

I chose a sourdough grilled cheese, and seeing as I can't partake in any alcoholic beverages, I was very excited about all the fancy pop choices.  In a nod to my youth, I chose a Pop Shoppe lime rickey.  Mmmm, it tasted just like 1988.  It was so retro, it actually made the picture blurry, almost like a time warp.  All of a sudden I was hearing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song in my head . . . Anyways, the food was very good, as was the service.  I'll definitely be going back to sample more exotic soda flavours.

Bien sûr, with all of this bonding time there were many gems from James to be mined.  My doting husband asked, "Do you ever wish you could just have a glass of wine?"

Me: "Yes, yes, I really do."

He: "Me too, because I can't really open a bottle by myself."

I'm always amazed that his empathy for my current condition knows no bounds. That's all I can share for now.  I don't want to be blamed for making your life partner look bad in comparison to mine.

Ciao,

Shelby

Toilet Talk

Have you seen this new contraption in public bathrooms near you?  

I'm seeing them more and more.  I made comment to a some friends about these things, and they either hadn't noticed them, or assumed they were hand sanitizer. Thankfully, no one had used them for sanitizing their mitts, as that is NOT their intended purpose.  So what is it, you ask?  Toilet seat cleaner, conveniently provided just for you to swipe the seat before you sit.

I'm all for cleanliness and am something of a germophobe, but really?  I'm sorry, cleaning a public toilet is almost more horrifying than having to use one at all.  I'll just hover, thank you!  It's interesting that here in Canada public bathrooms have never been big on supplying the disposable toilet seat cover, unlike our American friends down south. But somehow we've arrived at a place where we are providing Toilet Duck and a brush upon entrance into the stall?  I find this too weird.  Maybe if they also provided rubber gloves it would be more palatable?  No, forget it - I would need a full latex suit.  I don't even like cleaning my own toilet for Pete's sake!
Always happy to provide meaningful food for thought!
Shelby

Book Club

Are any of you blog readers out there part of a book club?  As you might have guessed, I am a card carrying book club member, and it was my turn to host this past Wednesday.  For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of the spread I prepared.

See that cake proudly standing at center stage?  I found the recipe on Pinterest and was drawn in by the name.  A chai spiced cake with honey ginger frosting?  Sounds like the perfect spice cake, and it was good.  Jimmy pointed out that it could have been more moist.  Isn't it weird when people use "moist" to describe cake?  It's just an odd word.  But he was right.  It was near inedible the second day.  If you're a master baker and can tweak this recipe to bring the moisture back, I'd love to hear your thoughts, because the level of spice was just right.  I didn't take a close up of the cake because it was the worst icing job ever known to man.  As my sister-in-law said "You could've definitely used a crumb coat."  But the copious amount of crumbs came from my inept cake-removal-from-pan procedure.  Did you know you shouldn't let a cake cool completely in its pan before trying to remove it?  All the experts on Google say ten minutes maximum cooling time should be given before removing your creation to a wire rack to cool completely.  So, I threw the pan back in the oven for a few minutes to try and help loosen the thing, and it worked like a charm!  But the crumby damage was already done.
I digress.  Back to the topic of this post: book club.  I was a part of one book club before this one, having joined my current book club after a break from all the clubbing.  It's the same old story.  I got busy and wasn't finishing the books, then felt guilty attending book club when I knew not how the book ended.  Everyone tried to discuss in vague terms so I could finish the book, ending unspoiled.  I also missed picking my own books, because all I had time to read were book club choices.  
When my sister-in-law and her friend started up a new book club, I decided to try again.  We would be meeting every six weeks so there would be more time to finish the selections, there was a good mix of members, and each month had a fun theme.  For example at Christmas everyone brought a children's book for Santa's Anonymous, and before our summer hiatus we exchanged good (read: trashy) summer reads to be returned in the fall.  But after two years, our book club is losing members, and I am losing steam again.  I've not been finishing books, and even though I've always loved reading and read a lot, I'm finding it's becoming a chore again.  It seems like a long time since I've read something I've been totally absorbed in.  There were The Hunger Games books last spring and summer (just like Grace), and Jaycee Dugard's book this fall, but I just haven't been able to get into anything else lately.  Next up on our reading list is Cutting for Stone. If you've read it, leave me your comments so I can get pumped up for it.  It's around 800 pages, but I've got till the end of April, so hopes are running high.  Although by that point in my pregnancy, holding a book upright to read it might seem like a lot of work.  
Obviously the book club's fate is at a cross roads.  We'll see what happens after the summer break.  Any tips on keeping the choices and meetings lively or finding new members to fill our ranks would be appreciated, because I do love book club.  And cake.  And wine.  And in the fall I'll be able to book club and booze again, and I'll probably really, really need it.  In case you missed it, there have been no less than seven requests for your comments this post, a new Chez Quinlan record.  So please do!!
Shelby